Toys Have Changed Since I Was a Kid...

I saw this picture today and couldn't help but think that the overall quality of toys has changed a bit since I was a wee lad. Even a super lame movie like Superman Returns managed to spawn a product as cool as this "Truck Lifting Superman Set" designed by Mattel.

Here's the lowdown direct from the lips of the marketing department, who are all in their thirties no doubt:

Superman can lift a Daily Planet truck clear over his head with this exciting playset. Hand-grips on the side of the truck allow the Superman figure to get a handle. When kids push the figure's right leg forward, Superman actually lifts the truck up and over his head! Truck includes rolling wheels, exploding front end and other play features. Figure measures approximately 10" tall.

Verily, this appears to be quite an awesome toy and I would be a pathological liar if I said I wasn't a bit jealous of kids today. But, I pity them, as well. After all, they will never be able to harness the creativity and imagination that my generation possessed in spades. (We had no choice, lest we die of complete and utter boredom.)

I think I prefer my old-fashioned, low-tech toys. I still vividly recall one fine Christmas morning when my ten-year-old eyes lit up at the sight of my lone gift from Santa Claus himself. It was actually a two-fold present that had been stored in the freezer overnight.

In a fitful flash of fury, I unwrapped a variety box of sixteen mysteriously flavored Popsicles that were as tasty as they were colorful! (Mmmm. I think the dull green one tastes like sugar-covered tin foil!) Then, once I had perilously ingested those delicious delicacies, I was allowed to wash off the wooden stick handles and reuse them to my own devious intents and purposes.

Oh, the boundless whimsy! I can barely describe it.



With my mighty array of light brown Popsicle sticks, I would act out the adventures of the Discontent Denizens of New Stick City daily from dawn to dusk.

Stick Man #1: I hereby challenge you to a stick duel!

Stick Man #2: Thou art the discarded offspring of a timid toothpick! Challenge accepted.

Tik, tak, tik, tak, tik, tak. Fast forward seven hours...

Stick Man #1: I will never yield!

Stick Man #2: Nor will I, despite the oncoming Carpal Tunnel Syndrome that has beset itself in my very hands!

Fast forward seven more hours. The fight came to an abrupt end when Stick Man #2 inexplicably broke in half, his splinters spilling out onto the unvacuumed carpeted pastures of New Stick City.

At that point, my father would naturally walk into my room, become significantly angry and make me sleep outside in the Pit of Starving Scorpions for breaking one of my brand new Christmas toys.

Ah, sweet blessed memories.