To Hell and Back!!! (Part Two)

(See Previous Entry for Part One)

Let's summarize Part One, shall we? I believe Hell is playing Pictionary and recently I had to endure 30 minutes of Hell. Now, you're caught up.

I should mention here, that I did not actually play Pictionary recently. It was actually a knock-off for kids called Cadoo.

It involves other things to do than just draw, yet my wife and I play a "draw every turn" version with my young nephew to torture me. He is exceptionally cute and knows he is and he uses his cuteness to ask me ever so politely and kindly to play even though he knows I'd rather be playing kissing tag with jellyfish in the middle of the Pacific ocean.

So, when it became my turn and I had to draw something that could be found “under my bed” I was none-too-pleased.

My attempt at drawing a cat looked like something that vaguely resembled a bat-faced creature with no legs and a huge, fat snake-like tail. It also had wings for eyes and a nose that only could be described as woefully inaccurate.

I would reproduce it here but I accidentally spilled two glasses of ice tea on it, as well as a third because the first two did not adequately do the trick.

My nephew, as adorable as space is infinite and easily half as evil, seemed to really enjoy watching me squirm. He laughed at my drawing for approximately 14 hours. This is probably why he relishes playing the game so damn much.

When it came time for his turn to draw I will reference the picture at the top of this blog. He had to draw an animal he would not want in his bed with him. Any guesses?

My wife and I tried many guesses ourselves, but ran out of time. Turns out, he drew a rat. (Look again, you'll see it.)

Now, before you think I’m being mean here, I don’t say this with that purpose in mind. I simply had no idea what scared the kid. No. Scratch that. I know what scares that kid. Everything. It was just too hard to narrow down from a limitless number of choices.

I felt kind of bad not being able to guess the answer because I could see his frustration... that same frustration I’ve known all of my life.

At least he’s only in first grade. He can still develop drawing skills, and you know, even if he doesn’t he can already draw me under the table. At least the wheel-like appendages of the rat in his picture are in proportion. On my best day, I couldn't even manage that much.

So, if you think the figure at the top of this entry is hard to identify, then you should know that what I had drawn was ten times worse and much more mock-worthy. If you were to, say, post in on a refrigerator, those who passed by it would shriek in absolute terror: What is wrong with that poor, deranged child! Is he... is he from Hell?

No, no I am not. I just visit there every time I attempt to draw.