Reel Quiz #8

It’s time to test your knowledge of obscure cinema trivia one more time by answering the following ten multiple choice questions.

Score one point for each correct response. The answers will be posted at the bottom.

For those who deem it necessary to validate your self-worth, feel free to base it on the following scale:

Reel Quiz Ratings Scale

9-10 Correct (Ph.D. in Film)
You are a true Cinemaphile, which is not as creepy as it sounds.

7-8 Correct (M.A. in Film)
You are an under-appreciated genius, like Dustin Hoffman in Hero.

5-6 Correct (B.A. in Film)
You are an avid film lover, but you don’t know the difference between a wide angle lense and any other lense.

3-4 Correct (A.A. in Film)
You really should try to see more films that don't star Jean-Claude Van Damme.

1-2 Correct (Film School Dropout)
One-syllable words completely baffle you, don't they?

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1) Which of the following films directed by Stanley Kubrick never received an Oscar nomination for Best Picture?

A) Dr. Strangelove
B) A Clockwork Orange
C) Barry Lyndon
D) Spartacus


2) Of the following popular actors, who is the ONLY ONE
that was never in one of the Nightmare on Elm Street films?

A) Johnny Depp
B) Patricia Arquette
C) Laurence Fishburne
D) Kevin Bacon


3) What was the first name of Patricia Arquette's character (the prostitute that hooks up with a loner played by Christian Slater) in True Romance?

A) Arizona
B) Alabama
C) Indiana
D) Florida



4) Which of the following 1990s sitcom stars appeared in the adult film Red Shoe Diaries 3: Another Woman's Lipstick?

A) Paul Reiser
B) Michael Richards
C) Matt LeBlanc
D) John Lithgow


5) Which of the following 1990s TV drama stars also appeared in Red Shoe Diaries 3: Another Woman's Lipstick?

A) David Duchovny
B) Dylan McDermott
C) Jimmy Smits
D) Mark Harmon


6) Of the following TV show-based films, which one had the most domestic box office success in its first feature film?

A) Mission Impossible
B) Maverick
C) Lost in Space
D) The Fugitive


7) Which of the following is the only movie that was NOT based on a novel by best-selling author Elmore Leonard?

A) Jackie Browne
B) Pulp Fiction
C) Get Shorty
D) Out of Sight


8) What famous actor helped provide the voice of E.T. -- the Extra Terrestrial in the film of the same name?

A) Michael J. Fox
B) Drew Barrymore
C) Richard Gere
D) Debra Winger


9) Which of the following successful Hollywood figures DID NOT drop out of high school?

A) Don Johnson
B) Mark Wahlberg
C) Tom Cruise
D) Quentin Tarantino


10) Demetria Guynes is the actual birth name of what famous actress?

A) Jodi Foster
B) Whoopi Goldberg
C) Demi Moore
D) Donna Mills


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Answers:

(1) D; Spartacus.

(2) D; Kevin Bacon. He was in the original Friday the 13th, though.

(3) B; Alabama.

(4) C; Matt LeBlanc, or Joey Tribbiani of Friends.

(5) A; David Duchovny, or Fox Mulder from The X-Files.

(6) D; The Fugitive made over $183 million domestically.

(7) B; Pulp Fiction. It was actually based on one of Quentin Tarantino’s drug-induced rampages directed towards a gallon of orange juice.



(8) D; Debra Winger.

(9) A; Don Johnson. Let this be a lesson to kids: Stay in school and you’ll be famous for a cheesy cop show. Drop out and you’ll have a much bigger and better movie career.

(10) C; Demi Moore.

Classic Controversial Campaigns From PETA

(Part Two)

Yesterday, I blogged about how I was in utter awe of PETA. It's true. They are the largest animal rights organization in the world (with over two million members) and they are by far the most vocal and unforgettable.

I confess that I often can’t wait to see what they’ll come up with next. Their ads are always quite creative and interesting, but they too often cross the line.

Most of PETA’s ads are offensive or sexist, or both. Even though I understand the political undertone of their messages, I shake my head in disbelief because some of them are just plain virulent. It’s like trying to get someone to see your viewpoint by spitting repeatedly in their face.

Still, like them or hate them, PETA generates countless headlines and I admire the group’s relentless tenacity.

Let's take a look at some of their more inspired and inflammatory campaigns:


I think, everybody can agree: all children should
cut class much more often. Thank you, Andy Dick.



Who really wants to see a naked woman covered in magic
marker lines that depict which parts of her will make for
a fine evening of gourmet BBQ? (Um, other than cannibals.)



While I understand the point PETA is trying to make, it
comes across as a weird S&M rape fantasy. Also, I am deeply
disturbed that I find an elephant so damn smoking hot.



Hmmm. Be comfortable in your own skin.
Great message, except after seeing this I’ll
never feel comfortable again.



Foxy lady, here I come... I’m coming to get ya.



Do you really know of many people who don't love to wear
their dog around the house?




This ad was so offensive that PETA eventually issued a public apology to various outlets of the Jewish media on Holocaust Remembrance Day. Not only did this one cross the line, but it pretty much obliterated it.

Speaking of which, I will now leave you with one final questionable PR campaign from PETA. The organization came up with its own “Unhappy Meal” handout a while back in an effort to teach families about the “unhappy” lives of chickens raised to be future McNuggets.

This copy describing it is directly from PETA’s web site:

“The inside of the Unhappy Meal box is stained with "blood" and contains a "blood"-filled packet urging McDonald's to "Ketchup With the Times," a paper cutout of a menacing Ronald McDonald with PETA's parody "I'm Hatin' It" logo, a "bloody" plastic chicken, and a "Chicken McCruelty" T-shirt wrapped up like a sandwich.”



Damn, that's just hardcore.

Personally, this is one of my favorites as it is just plain wrong on so many levels. Anytime I see a psychotic clown wielding a knife on packaging geared toward young children, well, that generally gets my attention.

This campaign was completely unacceptable. It is unspeakably cruel for the poor souls who suffer from coulrophobia, or the fear of clowns. It is estimated that about 8% of Americans suffer from this fear.

That’s only slightly more than the percentage of Americans who are paranoid that the ketchup packets at their favorite fast food restaurant actually contain real blood.

Ah PETA, you always give the public some interesting food for thought.

PETA Strikes Again with Save the Whales Campaign

(Part One)

I am in utter awe of PETA. I really am.

I’m not a member of the group. I’m not even a vegetarian. I can’t say I advocate all of the policies and attitudes of the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, but I sure am dazzled by their ability to capture headlines better than any other organization on this planet.

I wholeheartedly support the controversial group’s right to generate promotional campaigns free of censorship... even if their ads sometimes seem free of common sense, as well.

Case in point: PETA recently unveiled a new billboard (above) designed to inform people that vegetarianism is a healthier dietary choice than eating meat.

Unfortunately, the actual message is less than poetic: “Save the Whales. Lose The Blubber. Go Vegetarian.”

Wow. Just wow.

So, if I am to take the ad at face value, it says that fat people are whales, full of blubber, and that they should eat vegetables in order to slim down. This strikes me as particularly odd since there is no such thing as a vegetarian whale.

Anyway, I cannot imagine how anybody could be offended by this message.

Sure, calling an overweight woman in a bikini a whale (i.e. a mammal that typically weighs between 1.8 and 3.5 tons) might be considered profoundly sexist and ostentatiously rude, but when was the last time you saw a PETA ad that wasn’t attempting to be either of those things?

Remember, this is the organization that produced a 30-second “Veggie Love” commercial for Super Bowl XLIII that was rejected by NBC. The network considered it too provocative due to scantily clad women licking, rubbing and generally frolicking with pumpkins, broccoli, asparagus and eggplant.

If you need a visual aide to accompany the previous paragraph, please visit here.

Also keep in mind, PETA is the same group that is known for its scintillating campaigns promoting vegetarianism and condemning the wearing of fur garments. Their ads often feature naked or near-naked celebrities, including Alicia Silverstone, Pamela Anderson, Christina Applegate, Eva Mendes, Kim Basinger and Famke Jannsen.


I think Alicia confused the word nudist with vegetarian.


I think every heterosexual male with working
eyes would rather she go naked, too.


Is there anything more tempting than a sea of
spicy red peppers?

I’ll give PETA credit. They are masters at stirring up public reaction. Unfortunately, it’s too often negative in tone. If they want to draw attention to obesity and healthy vegetable-based diets, I’m all for it.

After all, a large segment (no pun intended) of this planet's inhabitants are considered obese. The World Health Organization reports that there are more than one billion overweight adults globally and at least 300 million of them are obese.

The problem needs to be addressed, but calling overweight people “whales” hardly seems like a constructive or even ethical stratagem.

When you anger the public deliberately, especially by directly insulting them, how much credence will be given to your message?

The current “Save the Whales” campaign is just one more example in a long history of inflammatory ads authored by PETA. Tomorrow, I will take a look at some of the classics.

Reel Quiz #7: Star Wars Edition

It’s time to test your knowledge of obscure cinema trivia one more time by answering the following ten multiple choice questions.

Score one point for each correct response. The answers will be posted at the bottom.

For those who deem it necessary to validate your self-worth, feel free to base it on the following scale:

Reel Quiz Ratings Scale

9-10 Correct (Ph.D. in Film)
The Force is strong in you, Jedi Knight. Just do yourself a favor and stop looking for your real father. Only disappointment awaits you.

7-8 Correct (M.A. in Film)
You are close to being a Jedi, but much anger I sense in you. Next time, let the wookie win.

5-6 Correct (B.A. in Film)
You are quite a Star Wars lover, but you don’t know the difference between a moon and a space station.

3-4 Correct (A.A. in Film)
You really should try to watch the trilogy again. I mean the original.

1-2 Correct (Film School Dropout)
Go back to Mos Eisley spaceport. You belong in that wretched hive of scum and villainy.


**************************



1) Vader is Dutch for what word?

A) Evil
B) Father
C) Darkness
D) Black

2) How many total Oscars has the original Star Wars trilogy taken home?

A) 4
B) 6
C) 8
D) 10

3) Denis Lawson, who played Wedge Antilles in Star Wars, is the uncle of which thespian in The Phantom Menace?

A) Samuel Jackson
B) Natalie Portman
C) Liam Neeson
D) Ewan MacGregor

4) What famous director was originally offered the chance to direct Return of the Jedi?

A) David Lynch
B) Francis Ford Coppola
C) Robert Altman
D) Stanley Kubrick

5) Star Wars is the only movie of the original Star Wars Trilogy to be in the American Film Institute's List of Top 100 American Films. What number is it?

A) 10
B) 15
C) 25
D) 35

6) While filming Return of the Jedi, George Lucas tried to keep the set in Yuma, Arizona secret by pretending his crew was filming for a horror film by what name?

A) The Sand Monster
B) The Desert Breathes
C) It Came From the Stars
D) Blue Harvest

7) Who starred in Cheers after playing the role of Major Derlin in The Empire Strikes Back?

A) Ted Danson
B) George Wendt
C) John Ratzenberger
D) Kelsey Grammar

8) Before Star Wars was released, George Lucas worked on many scripts. In one of them, Luke Skywalker had a slightly different name -- what was it?

A) Luke Sunspot
B) Luke Starkiller
C) Luke Goodman
D) Luke Duke

9) In order to reshoot scenes for the Special Edition of Star Wars, George Lucas and crew returned to Yuma, AZ in 1995 and filmed on the hottest day on record in the U.S. at that time. How hot was it?

A) 126 degrees
B) 130 degrees
C) 132 degrees
D) 138 degrees

10) Titanic made over $600 million domestically on a budget that cost about $200 million. How much of a budget did George Lucas use for The Phantom Menace, which was released less than two years later?

A) $115 million
B) $150 million
C) $180 million
D) $225 million


*************************


Answers:

(1) B. Father. Dude, it was soooo obvious.

(2) C; 8. Star Wars won six and Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi each won one.

(3) D. Ewan MacGregor.

(4) A; David Lynch. No joke. George Lucas was a big fan of Eraserhead.

(5) B; 15. The Empire Strikes Back was better, though.

(6) D; Blue Harvest.

(7) C; John Ratzenberger aka Cliff Clavin. He also had bit roles in Superman and Superman II, incidentally.

(8) B; Luke Starkiller (as in Death Star killer). What a silly over-the-top and obvious name! Thank goodness he went with Skywalker, which doesn’t imply greatness at all.

(9) C; 132 degrees, or as we now call it in Phoenix: a mid-afternoon cold front.

(10) A; $115 million. That’s a downright bargain... unless you take into consideration the quality of the final product.

To Hell and Back!!! (Part Two)

(See Previous Entry for Part One)

Let's summarize Part One, shall we? I believe Hell is playing Pictionary and recently I had to endure 30 minutes of Hell. Now, you're caught up.

I should mention here, that I did not actually play Pictionary recently. It was actually a knock-off for kids called Cadoo.

It involves other things to do than just draw, yet my wife and I play a "draw every turn" version with my young nephew to torture me. He is exceptionally cute and knows he is and he uses his cuteness to ask me ever so politely and kindly to play even though he knows I'd rather be playing kissing tag with jellyfish in the middle of the Pacific ocean.

So, when it became my turn and I had to draw something that could be found “under my bed” I was none-too-pleased.

My attempt at drawing a cat looked like something that vaguely resembled a bat-faced creature with no legs and a huge, fat snake-like tail. It also had wings for eyes and a nose that only could be described as woefully inaccurate.

I would reproduce it here but I accidentally spilled two glasses of ice tea on it, as well as a third because the first two did not adequately do the trick.

My nephew, as adorable as space is infinite and easily half as evil, seemed to really enjoy watching me squirm. He laughed at my drawing for approximately 14 hours. This is probably why he relishes playing the game so damn much.

When it came time for his turn to draw I will reference the picture at the top of this blog. He had to draw an animal he would not want in his bed with him. Any guesses?

My wife and I tried many guesses ourselves, but ran out of time. Turns out, he drew a rat. (Look again, you'll see it.)

Now, before you think I’m being mean here, I don’t say this with that purpose in mind. I simply had no idea what scared the kid. No. Scratch that. I know what scares that kid. Everything. It was just too hard to narrow down from a limitless number of choices.

I felt kind of bad not being able to guess the answer because I could see his frustration... that same frustration I’ve known all of my life.

At least he’s only in first grade. He can still develop drawing skills, and you know, even if he doesn’t he can already draw me under the table. At least the wheel-like appendages of the rat in his picture are in proportion. On my best day, I couldn't even manage that much.

So, if you think the figure at the top of this entry is hard to identify, then you should know that what I had drawn was ten times worse and much more mock-worthy. If you were to, say, post in on a refrigerator, those who passed by it would shriek in absolute terror: What is wrong with that poor, deranged child! Is he... is he from Hell?

No, no I am not. I just visit there every time I attempt to draw.

To Hell and Back!!! (Part One)

Most people probably envision Hell as a deep and vast underground cavern full of thick smoke and scorching flames... and, of course, an infinite number of nightmarish demons and tortured souls. I’m guessing there’s a lot of screaming in this scenario, too.

I don’t buy that. Heaven is not a bunch of clouds and harps and winged seraphs. Hell is not a bunch of fire and brimstone and screaming monstrosities. Those are just mythological constructs... simple and even unimaginative images that have been frequently used throughout history by the feckless predominant collective cultures of this infernal, red-headed stepchild of a world.

Yes, I’m feeling quite optimistic today.

Perhaps it is because I experienced a glimpse of the one true Hell recently and I am still struggling to recover.

You see, Heaven does not really have one face, so to speak. Nor does Hell, in my opinion. Such abstract ideas are influenced by the perception of the individual who experiences them. For you, Heaven may be full of chocolate chip cookies and blatant public nudity. For me, it might be a world where all food is served "Thai hot" and all movies are made in IMAX 3-D.

Then, there is Hell. I admit, burning perpetually while being whipped by deranged demons is a decent Underworld to imagine. It sounds quite painful and hopeless, which is precisely the point. But, for me, Hell is much worse than that. After all, I recently journeyed there (or a watered-down version of it) for about 30 minutes and escaped back to reality with my life and sanity intact, but only barely.

What is Hell for me? Quite simply, Hell is playing Pictionary.

The sad thing about that previous sentence is that I genuinely meant it. Drawing ability is something that I have always admired, but am utterly perplexed how it all works. I consistently failed handwriting in school (which is not really drawing talent, and yet, I’m so bad with pencil and paper that I cannot even write words legibly).

Years later, I took Art and my self-confidence pulled out a gun and shot itself 13 times.

I cannot draw a circle. I cannot draw a square. My stick figures look evil... and fuzzy... and disturbingly out of proportion. I truly suck at drawing in a way that nobody has managed to equal throughout the entire course of recorded time. (I even envy those rudimentary stick drawings on caves etched with ashen sticks.)

So, naturally, everybody I know seems to want to play Pictionary whenever I am around. I usually get pressured into playing, and then, by the end of the night, everybody usually regrets that persuasive effort.

You might think I’m being silly, but let me use an appropriate metaphor.

Picture, if you will, sticking your hand into a running blender (perhaps on the setting of maximum blend). Don’t take it out. Keep it there for 30 minutes (or however long it takes to play Pictionary). While this is going on, imagine that someone has lit your crotch on fire. You can’t put it out, of course. Then, cover your entire body with Super Glue. Immediately after that, pour a bucket of cranky tarantulas all over your body so they can get caught in the glue and try to bite their way out of it.

Does that sound like fun to you? For me, that sounds a little bit hellish. If I were given the choice of playing Pictionary or participating in the tortures of the previous paragraph, I would probably flip a coin.

In this instance, I lost the coin toss and almost lost my mind completely.

To Be Continued Tomorrow...

Reel Quiz #6

It’s time to test your knowledge of obscure cinema trivia one more time by answering the following ten multiple choice questions.

Score one point for each correct response. The answers will be posted at the bottom.

For those who deem it necessary to validate your self-worth, feel free to base it on the following scale:

Reel Quiz Ratings Scale

9-10 Correct (Ph.D. in Film)
You are so talented that you could write a screenplay on a table napkin about the life of a table napkin and sell it to Disney for $4 million.

7-8 Correct (M.A. in Film)
You are an under-appreciated genius, like the guy who invented guacamole.

5-6 Correct (B.A. in Film)
You are an avid film lover, but you don’t know the difference between craft services and Kraft Mac n' Cheese.

3-4 Correct (A.A. in Film)
You really should try to see more films that don't have "slaughter" or "sluts" in the title.

1-2 Correct (Film School Dropout)
Can I be honest here? You probably cannot even read this right now.

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1) Which of the following Alfred Hitchcock films has the best ranking in the American Film Institute's list of Top 100 American Films of all time?

A) Vertigo
B) Psycho
C) Rear Window
D) North by Northwest




2) Which of the following on-screen movie couples were actually born in the same year?

A) Meg Ryan & Tom Hanks
B) Matt Damon & Minnie Driver
C) George Clooney & Michelle Pfeiffer
D) Julia Roberts & Hugh Grant


3) What was the name of the Devil (played by Jack Nicholson) in The Witches of Eastwick?

A) Johnathan Brimstone
B) Seth Sizzle
C) Daryl Van Horne
D) Max Devlin


4) What comic actor won the MTV Movie Award for Best Comedic Performance every year from 1995-1998?

A) Mike Myers
B) Robin Williams
C) Jim Carrey
D) Ben Stiller


5) Which of the following Bruce Willis or Demi Moore movies did NOT win a Golden Raspberry award for the Worst Screenplay of the Year?

A) Indecent Proposal
B) Striptease
C) Hudson Hawk
D) Bonfire of the Vanities


6) Which of the following stars have never received a Golden Raspberry for Worst Actor?

A) Sean Connery
B) Sylvester Stallone
C) Kevin Costner
D) Burt Reynolds


7) Which of the following Disney animated films was NOT the highest domestic grossing film the year it was released?

A) Toy Story (1995)
B) The Lion King (1994)
C) Aladdin (1992)
D) 101 Dalmations (1961)


8) What was the most-rented movie of 1991?

A) Pretty Woman
B) Ghost
C) Total Recall
D) Hudson Hawk

9) Which of the following movies in the Batman series raked in the most bat cash in domestic box office sales?

A) Batman
B) Batman Returns
C) Batman Forever
D) Batman & Robin




10) Which of the following movies in the Superman series swept up the most super cash in domestic box office sales?

A) Superman
B) Superman II
C) Superman III
D) Superman IV: The Quest for Peace


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Answers:

(1) B; Psycho is ranked 18th, North by Northwest is ranked 40th, Rear Window is ranked 42nd and Vertigo is ranked 61st.

(2) B; Matt Damon and Minnie Driver, 1970, co-stars in Good Will Hunting.

(3) C; Daryl Van Horne.

(4) C; Jim Carrey. It was a dark period in the history of American pop culture.

(5) D; Bonfire of the Vanities. Most entertainment experts speculated that the couple split up largely due to their ongoing competition to see who could pick the worst script for each given year.

(6) A; Sean Connery.

(7) B; The Lion King in 1994. Forrest Gump was the biggest film at the box office that year.

(8) B; Ghost. However, if you answered D (Hudson Hawk) for this question, deduct five points from your overall score.

(9) A; Batman. It grossed over $251 million. Batman Returns made over $162 million; Batman Forever tallied over $184 million and Batman & Robin robbed audiences of over $107 million.

(10) A; Superman. The original wins again with over $134 million. In this series, the box office gross in the US plummeted with each subsequent sequel: Superman II, $108 million; Superman III, $59 million; and Superman IV, only $11 million.

On This Date in 1981... IBM Changed the World

On this date 28 years ago, IBM released its first personal computer (model number 5150). They’ve been trying to get it to work properly ever since.

That first IBM PC ran on a 4.77 MHz Intel 8088 microprocessor. Those uninitiated in computer lingo should know that MHz is short for Mega Hurtz, a term applied to measure the speed of a tormented turtle with four injured legs.

Thus, 4.77 MHz would mean 4.77 times the speed of the aforementioned turtle, which is approximately as fast as a snail suffering from intense, crippling vertigo.

It is also interesting to note that IBM’s initial personal computer came equipped with 16 kilobytes of memory, expandable to 256K. It also included one or two 160K floppy disk drives and an optional color monitor. So, basically, it could be used as a glorified calculator or a decorative end table.

The price tag for the 1981 PC was a whopping $1,565, which is the equivalent of spending over $3,705 in 2008, according to the Consumer Price Index (which doesn’t have the equivalent value for 2009 available yet).

For $3,700 today, you could actually buy a real computer: a Mac.

Essentially, for the same price you could receive a 24-inch iMac with 8 GB 1066 MHZ (that’s faster than a thousand severely injured turtles!) DDR3 SDRAM - 2x4GB.



The iMac comes equipped with 3.06GHz Intel Core 2 Duo and a 1.0 Terabyte serial ATA Drive (which can hold a quarter of a million songs). You could also upgrade to a faster graphics package (ATI Radeon HD 4850 512MB), a wireless mouse and keyboard, and buy iWorks 2009 and Final Cut Express pre-installed plus the three-year AppleCare Proetection Plan!

But, that’s just me.

Still, I realize that the pioneer company IBM did indeed pave the way for Apple to come in an make the computer market much, much cooler later on, so KUDOS to them.

Incidentally, four months after IBM introduced its PC, Time Magazine actually named the computer as its “Man of the Year.”

One month after that, Time printed a retraction realizing that, indeed, a computer is not a person though the resemblance was astonishing similar.

Time opted instead to give the award to a duo of film actors who had dominated the box office in 1981: Harrison Ford for making archeology cool again thanks to his role as Indiana Jones in The Raiders of the Lost Ark, and Dudley Moore for his stark portrayal of the devastating effects of alcoholism in the profoundly tragic film Arthur.

Chevy Volt Reported to Get 230 MPG

General Motors announced earlier today that its Chevrolet Volt rechargeable electric car (due out in 2010) is estimated to get 230 miles per gallon in the city, according to early tests that adhere to guidelines from the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency for calculating the mileage of extended range electric vehicles.

Incidentally, 230 mpg is more than four times the gas mileage of the Toyota Prius, widely considered to be the most efficient electric car on the market at the current time. (It gets about 48 mpg in the city and 45 mpg on the highway.)

The Chevy Volt's gas tank will hold between six and ten gallons, meaning people who drive mostly in the city could travel over a thousand miles between trips to the gas station.

According to the Associated Press, the Volt is powered by an electric motor and a battery pack that boasts a 40-mile range. Once the car is driven past that point (without recharging), the vehicle's small internal combustion engine generates enough electricity for a total range of 300 miles.

By theory, those who never drive more than 40 miles at a time would never require gasoline.

Perhaps the most exciting aspect of the car, however, is that the battery pack can be recharged using a standard home outlet.

Thus far, highway mileage estimates have yet to be released for the Volt, but GM believes the combined highway and city mileage for the car will be in triple digits.

The gas mileage won't be the only high aspect of the car, however. Because it is a first-generation release, GM will likely put a price tag in the $40,000 range for its 2010 models. Even with qualifying federal government tax credits, the price precludes a large percentage of American consumers from owning the Chevy Volt next year.

Of course, General Motors is working to knock the cost down of the vehicle, particularly the battery system, in the forseeable future.

Hopefully that will happen soon, but in the meantime, it's hard not to be excited by the technological potential of U.S. automakers.

Top 10 Worst Names Celebrities Have Given Their Children

According to statistics tabulated by the National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center (www.safeyouth.org), almost 30% of the youth in the United States (over 5.7 million) bully others, end up becoming the target of a bully's wrath, or both.

When students between the ages of six and ten were polled in a national survey, it was revealed that 13% admitted to bullying others and 11% were bullied by others. On top of that, 6% claimed to be on both sides of the bullying coin.

Now, I realize that there are many factors for why people bully others. I myself was tortured daily by two older brothers simply because I was much smarter, better looking and just plain more awesome than they could ever hope to be.

But, there is one thing that can be done at birth to help shield children from the potential wrath of future bullies. Give your child a name that does not rhyme with a profane word, for example. I can attest that “Chris” rhymes with “piss” (as well as "clitoris") so I heard some pretty colorful phrases while growing up.

Note: you probably should also stray away from names that double as profane and/or dubious words, such as: Dick, Peter, John Thomas, Willy, Wang, Captain Penishead, etc.

I realize that eliminates a lot of common names, but truth be told, such monikers are hardly the biggest attraction for schoolyard bullies. Common names like “Dick” and “Peter” won’t make you stand out nearly as much as a highly unusual name will.

And, now we come to the point of my blog today (finally!).

Why do so many celebrities give their children names that will one day make them the target of anybody on the playground with a size ten or larger shoe and/or a 75 or less IQ?

I could provide dozens of examples, but instead, will opt to go for a Top Ten list format.


The Top Ten Worst Names Celebrities Have Given Their Children:


10) Apple (Child of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin of Coldplay)

Bonus Bad Joke: Let's hope Apple falls far from the family tree when she names her own children some day.


9) Sage Moonblood (Child of Sylvester Stallone)


8) Memphis Eve (Child of U2 frontman Bono who clearly was teased for his own name growing up.)


7) Tu (This name isn’t so bad until you realize the child’s last name is Morrow. The father is actor Rob Morrow.)

On the bright side, at least the child will likely think that the people in the musical Annie are singing directly to her.


6) Audio Science (Child of actress Shannyn Sossamon.)


5) Jermajesty (Child of Jermaine Jackson, brother of Michael.)

Jerkidding me, right?


4) Pilot Inspektor (Child of Jason Lee. I believe it has something to do with a song lyric from a band named Grandaddy or opium... copious amounts of opium.)


3) Moxie Crimefighter (Child of comedian/magician Penn Jillete -- part of the duo Penn and Teller.)

I will admit that it's better than Wussy Supervillain, but only barely.


2) Kal-El (Child of Nic Cage, a big fan of Superman, hence Superman’s Kryptonian name.)

Thank goodness his Kryptonian name wasn't something really unusual like Mxyzptlk or Chunky Bits of Dog Food... Now with Gravy.

And finally...


1) Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet and Diva the Muffin Man (All offspring of musician Frank Zappa who clearly deserves a Lifetime Achievement Award for this category.)


Incidentally, today’s blog is sponsored by:

www.FutureBullyVictimsoftheWorldUnite.com.

Reel Quiz #5

It’s time to test your knowledge of obscure cinema trivia one more time by answering the following ten multiple choice questions.

Score one point for each correct response. The answers will be posted at the bottom.

For those who deem it necessary to validate your self-worth, feel free to base it on the following scale:

Reel Quiz Ratings Scale

9-10 Correct (Ph.D. in Film)
You are so talented that you could write a script for a movie called Inanimate Nosehair on spec.

7-8 Correct (M.A. in Film)
You are an under-appreciated genius, like Keanu Reeve's band Dogstar.

5-6 Correct (B.A. in Film)
You are an avid film lover, but you don’t know the difference between a trailer and a teaser.

3-4 Correct (A.A. in Film)
You really should try to see more films that don't have "Part 14" in the title.

1-2 Correct (Film School Dropout)
It's like I don't even know who you are anymore.

**************************

1) Which of the following films IS the only one that grossed over $100 million in domestic box office?

A) Last Action Hero
B) Moonstruck
C) A League of Their Own
D) The Crying Game


2) Which of the following statements is NOT true?

A) Kevin Costner majored in Marine Biology in college
B) Michael Keaton worked as a TV cameraman
C) Bruce Willis played harmonica in a band called Loose Goose
D) Steve Martin was born in Waco, Texas


3) Which of the following titles is NOT the actual name of a movie?

A) Stop, You're Killing Me
B) Revenge of the Virgins
C) A Pyromaniac's Love Story
D) Hell is Full of Poets


4) Which of the following titles IS the actual name of a movie?

A) I Am... a Taxidermist
B) Vampire Trailer Park
C) Race of the Garbage Men
D) Mutant Cheerleaders from Texas

5) Elora Danan, Queen Bavmorda and Mad Martigan are all characters from what movie?

A) Legend
B) Willow
C) Labyrinth
D) Dragonheart

6) Which of the following movies (from the summer of 1998) did NOT surpass $100 million in domestic box office ticket sales?

A) The Truman Show
B) Deep Impact
C) Dr. Dolittle
D) The X-Files Movie

7) What movie contained the following quote: "You might be a king or a little street sweeper, but sooner or later you dance with the Reaper"?

A) Death Becomes Her
B) Death Row Diner
C) Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey
D) Night Shift


8) Which of the following sequels was NOT released in theaters as a 3-D flick?

A) A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors
B) Jaws 3
C) Amityville 3: The Demon
D) Friday the 13th, Part 3




9) What movie is ranked #1 on the American Film Institute's list of the 100 Greatest American Films?

A) Casablanca
B) Gone With the Wind
C) Citizen Kane
D) The Godfather

10) Which of the following films received a special Golden Raspberry award in 1996 for being the Worst Written Film Grossing Over $100 Million?

A) The Rock
B) Mission Impossible
C) Independence Day
D) Twister


*************************


Answers:

(1) C; A League of Their Own earned over $107 million.

(2) A. Kevin Costner actually earned a B.A. degrees in business from California State University, Fullerton. Then, he proceeded to ignore his studies when he decided that Waterworld would be a big moneymaker.

(3) D; Hell is Full of Poets. Although, Hell really is full of poets.

(4) B; Vampire Trailer Park sounds like an awesome film. But then, I’d pay to see the other three, as well.

(5) B; Willow.

(6) D; The X-Files Movie. The truth may be out there, but it stayed home during that summer, apparently.

(7) C; Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey. If you got this right, you should probably seek professional help.

(8) A; A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors was not released in 3-D and I have been very angry ever since.

(9) C; Citizen Kane. God knows why.

(10) D; Twister. Quick Trivia Fact: The movie Twister is not actually about the board game of the same name. In its real plot, a couple on the verge of divorce (played by Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt) fall in love all over again due to the timely assistance of a friendly, but massively misunderstood Category 5 Tornado named “Holy Shit!”


"Holy Shit! What do we do?"

Reader Mail #3

There continues to be a massive influx of electronic mail from Passing Thoughts readers of late. Just yesterday alone I received 271 comments, four of which were not from StalkingYouUntilYouBleed.

Receiving electronic ovations from all corners of the Earth is nice, to be sure, but some people go on a little too much. For example:

Dear Scrotum Face,

A friend of mine recently requested that I try reading your blog since he believed it was the best thing since waxed dental floss. So, I clicked on the link.

Words cannot describe how it made me feel, but alas, I shall try.

As I read each sentence, I felt as if my very eyes were repeatedly raped by your worthless, pointless, damnable words.

Your illiterate ramblings forced me to unleash a tidal wave of tears as I found myself thinking that I would prefer to have a pit bull use my penis as a chew toy than to endure one more insipid observation from your pitiful unimaginative imitation of a mind.

Perhaps I could give you two words of advice: Please die.

And, hopefully, you will follow my advice as soon as humanly possible.

Irritatingly,

Donnie Darko


Here is another interesting letter I received:


Dear Dr. Montepenny,

Yesterday my shadow followed me around outside for most of the day. It simply would not leave me alone, even when I ran across the freeway during the morning rush hour screaming “Intacto! Intacto!”

At one point, I saw a screeching diesel tire run over the shadow, but the ungodly creature continued its relentless pursuit of me. Finally, around sunset, it grew tired and I managed to give it the slip. Still, I worry that it will be waiting outside for me once again tomorrow.

So, my question is: who would win in a fight between Superman and Batman?

Sincerely,

hookerbytrade



Dear Ms. Hooker,

I am not actually a doctor, but I do appreciate when people address me thusly. Your e-mail distressed me greatly for two reason: 1) not once did you compliment me; and 2) your question was utterly absurd.

Clearly, Superman would pummel Batman before he could even blink... even if Batman held every tactical advantage and contained several hundreds of pounds of kryptonite on his person, Superman would simply fly out of reach of the kryptonite’s devastating effects. Then, he would pick up a building and drop it on the Caped Crusader, whose utility belt does not come equipped with a device that can catch a building.

Or, Superman could simply sneeze and Batman's head would instantly blow off. Either way, the fight would last approximately 2.4 seconds.

Sincerely,

Dr. Montepenny