Top Ten Reasons Michael Jackson's Thriller is the Best Video of All Time

Michael Jackson has been dead for less than a week and already you can obtain over 72 million search results if you Google the words "Michael Jackson's death."

It's almost comical, except that it's just not funny. The tasteless jokes began minutes after the first confirmed news report of his death and they have barraged the Net since.

Some are so bad I wonder about the character of the people who come up with them. They seem obsessed with finding creative (and highly repetitive) ways to feature punchlines about adults having sex with small boys.

Is this considered humorous for some reason?

Countless enraged souls have felt compelled to tell the whole world how much the alleged pedophile deserved to die. As far as I know, he was never convicted of any such crime as there was no physical evidence. I understand that there was circumstantial evidence and testimony, but a shadow of a doubt certainly persisted.

So, millions are convinced he was guilty and millions more are convinced he was innocent. For this conflict I defer to the song lyric from Dire Straits' Industrial Disease: "Two men say they're Jesus. One of 'em must be wrong." (Hmmm. Maybe we should let God settle the debate!)

Regardless of what you believe, you can be sure that the media circus will not be packing up its big top anytime soon.

So far, there has been an endless procession of teary-eyed tributes that labeled the man everything from The King of Pop to The Gloved One. Jackson has always been a larger-than-life legend, requiring a capital "The" in his various monickers. (You know you've made an impact on pop culture when the public adds a "The" to your nickname.)

At any rate, the media will no doubt continue to beat the news story to death, popping up with new story angles on an hourly basis: the medications that may or may not have lead to his cardiac arrest; the public's reaction to the tragedy/retribution; Paris Hilton's callous reaction (who really gives a f#!@?); the results of the first autopsy; the need for a second autopsy; the custody situation of his children; the contents of his will; his $400 million in debts and the fate of Neverland Ranch; and the list goes on and on.

When a widely popular celebrity dies, I prefer to simply look at the bigger picture. I was never a die-hard Michael Jackson fan, but I did own Thriller and played it repeatedly during junior high and enjoyed the Hell out of it. It was an iconic album, period. Thus, I do believe the world is a much less interesting place without him.

After all, Michael Jackson sold more than 750 million albums worldwide, penned 13 #1 singles, and had 47 songs make it onto the Billboard Hot 100. He received 13 Grammy Awards and was inducted twice into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (once as a solo artist and once as a member of the Jackson 5).

However, despite that relentless resume, his most impressive accomplishment to me, hands down, was making the best music video of all time: Thriller.

Here are the Top Ten reasons why it will always be the best:

1) It was listed in the 2006 Guinness World Records as the "most successful video" selling over 9 million units.

2) It was directed and co-written by John Landis, which means it's creepy and funny. Landis's impressive body of work includes: An American Werewolf in London, The Three Amigos and The Blues Brothers.

3) It clocks in at almost 14 minutes long (13:43 to be exact) making it the longest music video ever.

4) Michael Jackson plays multiple roles in it quite well, including: a 1950s teen who is gas gauge illiterate, a fluffy were-cat creature and an agile zombie in a shiny red leather suit (an iconic image if there ever was one).

5) It co-stars a Playboy centerfold named Ola Ray.

6) Vincent Price provides the voice-over in spooky, tongue-in-cheek fashion. Price was right for the role. He appeared in over 100 films in his lifetime altogether, but most will remember him for his eerie voice, which was pitch perfect for narrating tales of the macabre.

7) The Nederlander Organization recently acquired the rights to Thriller in order to revise it into a Broadway musical soon. I'm not even remotely kidding.

8) The totally awesome Rich Baker provided the prosthetics and monster makeup. The man has won six Oscars for Best Makeup Effects.

9) The video cost half a million to make in 1983. My math may be fuzzy, but I think that is the equivalent to almost 764 million today.

10) The Dancing Zombies! You know what I'm talking about.